What if I told you, that Gerard Butler trouncing around as an Ancient North African mythological God whilst speaking with his normal Scottish accent isn’t remotely the worst thing about Gods of Egypt? Sure, it’s a sloppy detail that makes the filmmakers seem incredibly dense, but a racially accurate cast is far from the element needed to make Gods of Egypt watchable. Like 2014’s Exodus: Gods and Kings, this movie is dead on arrival mostly due to a poorly written script and lackluster direction.
The film tells the story of a power struggle between Set (Butler), vengeful God of the desert, and his nephew Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), God of the Sky. After Set kills Horus’ father and takes Horus’ eyes, he overtakes Egypt and begins his mission to rule all of the world’s realms. After stealing back one of Horus’ eyes, mortal thief Bek (Brenton Thwaites) reluctantly joins Horus on a quest to save the love of his life, Zaya (Courtney Eaton) and take back Egypt from Set.
The plot seems decent enough to carry out a movie with at least the competence of a film like Clash of the Titans. And yet, this movie manages to be chocked full of as many plot holes as action sequences. For instance; despite having an army that is about a tenth of Egypt’s population and despite being outnumbered by God’s who don’t support him, Set manages to overtake Egypt without the slightest hint of difficulty. There are also rules established by the film, like Horus needing both of his eyes for flight, that are repeatedly and conveniently thrown aside to further the film’s plot. Combine that with dumb elements like the God of the Sun (Geoffrey Rush) battling a giant Space worm, and this movie feels like it’s been written by a 9 year old with each passing second.
There is some clever dialogue thrown in that manages to make the film go from atrocious to so-bad-it’s-funny territory, and that may be the movie’s only saving grace. The fact that the film is poorly cast, filled with hardly relevant/unlikable characters that do idiotic things, and is about 30 minutes too long all make for an unpleasant overall experience. And if you’re looking for decent special effects, look elsewhere. The CGI seems at least 10 years behind it’s time more often than not.
FINAL GRADE: D
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